The Smiling Mask

Though I hurt inside,
Feeling like I died,
I refuse to ever show it.
I just live my life
As if everything's ok.
When I wake at five
I don't feel alive
But no one would ever know it.
And all I hope for
Is to make it through the day.

I'm wearing a mask that shows a smile.
I wear a mask, but it isn't real.
I wear a mask, but all the while
I'm just hiding how I feel.

I once knew my course,
Now I feel remorse
For the life I have forsaken.
I am not a hero.
I'm a traitor to my youth.
Could I learn again
From my childhood friends?
I need to reawaken!
But until I do so
I know I have to face the truth

I'm wearing a mask; the smile's deceiving
The mask that I wear is an empty shell.
Behind the mask I am bereaving
And there's nothing more to tell.
I take off this mask so I'll see clearer
I rip off the mask and my face is numb.
I turn and I stare into a mirror
And I see what I've become.

Deep down inside my heart is yearning!
Deep down inside I see the strife!
Deep down inside I miss the burning!
How I long to hold the flame of life!

But something inside me starts stirring,
As I stare into my soul,
And I long for the ones who once taught me,
The ones who made me whole.

Lost

Yesterday was a fantasy
But a life that felt so real!
I knew my own destiny
And my world was ideal.
I was once respectable,
A hero and a king!
But that seems so long ago
Now I'm not anything.

Somewhere between Neverland
And the place I now call home
I lost my soul and vision and
I'm feeling all alone.
Will someone give me pixie dust
And a happy thought or two?
I need to fly and find myself.
I'm lost without a clue.

Back then I knew who I was
And all that I could be.
I sought to serve my fellowmen
And I gave the best of me.
I would give priority
To anyone in need.
But now I'm filled with selfishness.
I've forgotten how to lead.

Where are those great kings of yore
Who were mentors in my youth?
I've lost my crown, my shield and sword.
I've forgotten what is truth.
Could I hold Excalibur
And be taught by kings once more
Like Arthur and the Pevansie's?
Otherwise, I'll lose this war.

The dream world that I lived in once
Brought direction to my life.
It taught me how to overcome
All my sorrows and my strife.
The hopeless fights were always won
With a vision of what's right.
But back here in reality
I think I've lost my sight.

Deep inside an old wardrobe
Or inside a rabbit hole
I lost the lessons that I learned,
I even lost my role.
Take me back to Wonderland!
Open Narnia's doors to me!
Then on the way I'd find myself
And from darkness I'd be free!

Yesterday was a fantasy
But today my life's a twist.
I'm lost and needing answers
To know why I exist.